Monday, February 13, 2012

A Parable From the Life of Abby

Today, dear readers, I am going to tell you the real true story of something that happened to me a while ago. If you love me, you won't laugh. Screw it, you probably will. Just read it.

I was at my bus stop, watching as my friend tried to get one of the passing buses to run over a soda. As she tried and failed time after time to move that soda to the appropriate point in the road, several people looked on in amusement, but not one teacher noticed. Eventually, my friend told me that I should go and try to move the soda a little so that the next bus would hit it. I thought about it. I didn’t want to move it, in case I would get in trouble, but I really wanted to see what happened when a bottle of soda got run over by a bus. I tried to say no anyway, but my friend just pushed me out into the road and told me to move it quickly. So I did. I went and moved it. Naturally, although the teachers had miraculously not seen my friend on any of the more than five occasions she moved that bottle of soda, they noticed me immediately. Although I tried to explain that I was just an innocent spectator who had been pushed into the road and told “move the bottle!” my friend denied it and the teachers didn’t buy it. So, I had to go and get the soda out of the road, and the teachers all scolded me, “Bad girl, Abby, accusing your innocent friend just to get out of trouble! Bad girl, Abby, trying to get a bottle of soda run over by a bus!” My friend thought it was absolutely hilarious, and knowing her, she probably pointed me out to those teachers.

I think we have all learned a valuable lesson in gullibility.

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